Asher Gibbons
The Southern Editor
On March 11, Silver Cross announced a partnership with Lamborghini to create a “super” stroller, tagging it at a staggering price tag of $5,500. The four wheeled speed demon will include a high glass polycarbonate basket, a sprung magnetic harness, full suspension wheels and, of course, the Lamborghini logo.
A lot of questions come to mind, yet one I think everyone shares is: Why? Who asked for this? Who is the target audience here?
It seems that more and more often, new wacky gadgets with an unnecessarily high price tag are released to a consumer base that is nonexistent.
The Lambo for the four month old will have a practical use, but other items along the lines of “I need to be in the boardroom meeting when this was agreed upon” should never be purchased by anyone.
Here are my top five most useless items ever after jumping into the stupidest (and most expensive) rabbit hole on earth.
5. The devil uses Prada paper clips
If you’re wealthy enough to own a money clip, why not buy the Prada branded paperclip to keep all of your fat stacks together? Back in 2017, Prada sold these for $185 a pop, which, according to CNN, were equal in value to 13,300 regular paper clips from Office Depot.
While these do hold onto your cash, why not just buy that sick Superman wallet at Five Below and save $180? You’ll look way cooler and more bougie than the person who decided that investing into a Prada paperclip was a worthwhile purchase.
4. Your grandfather’s way of bringing lunch to work
In 2012, a Jil Sander Vasari bag was seen walking down a fashion show runway. Retailing for a staggering $290, the only caveat is that the bag is literally a brown paper bag to the tee.
As a part of their autumn/winter menswear 2012-13 collection, the bag crafted from 100% coated paper sold out soon after launching on the LN-CC stockist website.
I understand the appeal of a flashy bag, but who in their right mind wants to walk around with a brown paper bag as their fashion choice?
3. One man’s treasure is the same man’s trash
Along the same lines of pocketbooks and handbags, Balenciaga created the most expensive trash bag known to man at a whopping $2,100 price tag.
But this isn’t just any trash bag, it’s actually a “Men’s Trash Bag Large Pouch in White.” Made from genuine leather and calfskin, this trash pouch calls for the utmost care and respect, with the product details on Balenciaga’s website recommending seeing a “cleaning specialist.” You know what’s an even better way of cleaning a trash bag? Throwing it in the trash and getting a new one.
I understand that fashion can be subjective but once again, who is yearning to walk around with something as stupid as this.
2. Spill the tea
If you’re looking for a nice refreshing tea, then that little coffee shop down on the corner will probably do the trick. But for the people who like to burn money, they need to have their PG Tips diamond studded tea bag.
The herbal drink was encrusted with 280 studded diamonds and ran for a quick $10,000. The tea bag was made to celebrate PG Tips’ 75th anniversary and wasn’t sold with the intention to drink, as it was raffled to help raise money for the Manchester’s Children hospital in England.
It’s a nice change of pace in comparison to the dumb fashion statements of a brown paper sack or trash bag. Even still, who had the idea to stud a tea bag with diamonds, charity or not.
Honorable mention:
14 carat gold plated staples If there’s a CEO out there somewhere that wants only the best for his company, I’d assume he’d use these to send to his secretary, but he’d better have the number one item on this list as well to keep up the standard.
1. A royal flush
Thanks to Australian toilet paper company Toilet Paper Man, you can have a golden bathroom experience.
The website’s description describes the item as “a quality 3 ply toilet paper with 24 carat gold through the roll. As you use the toilet paper 24 carat gold flakes will fall onto the floor and your behind taking you to another level of sophistication.” The website also notes that the product would be hand delivered to you with a complimentary bottle of champagne.
The wipes are sold out on the website and don’t have a listed price, but its price is said to have been set at $1.2 million for just one roll. Adjusted for inflation the price would now be valued at $1.6 million.
The toilet paper had its five minutes of fame when the popular YouTube channel “Good Mythical Morning” featured it in their list of “Ridiculously Expensive Household Items.”
YouTube user @jahaonaj1004 left a comment on the video, saying “Gold toilet paper? Talk about throwing money down the toilet.”
The only rationality to buying any of these items are if you’re a collector who has piles of money to burn. Otherwise, these funky items are purposed to remain in a box, only to be found in some attic a hundred years from now. Who knows, maybe your great grandchildren will stumble upon a Lamborghini stroller at some random guy’s estate sale.
