Isabella Gargiulo
Staff Writer
Valentine’s Day, the day where women really see how much effort their man wants to put into their relationship. Sales for flowers, chocolate and stuffed animals soar at the beginning of the month, as couples prepare for the day of love. From fancy dinners to baskets full of goodies, couples around the world have different traditions to celebrate their affinity for each other – but is Valentine’s Day all what it is cracked up to be? Could one’s favorite holiday be another’s day of misery?
As both adults and college students, we are navigating the triumphs and struggles of adulthood all at the same time. Going into our early twenties, we are starting to form our own self-identity and reality around us. This includes the formations of relationships or situationships, which is a lot of society’s preferred choice.
Nowadays, society does not want to sell love, they prefer to be in the middle, a “cushion” to save them from ultimate heartbreak. If we do not place such a hefty label on our relationships by referring to our significant other as “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” then we do not feel as sad that the relationship has come to an end.
“If we keep being scared of the word dating, we are not going to have healthy relationships and dates. Situationships are always going to end messy because there is such a stigma around them,” senior at Florida Southern A.M. Oehler said.
Situationships are essentially a trial period to determine if the person you are “talking” to is worth the romantic pursuit. I, a romantic at heart, believe situationships are a waste of time. If it takes you more than a couple weeks or even months to determine if a person is right for you, it is time to move onto other endeavors.
Stringing along a person is not the healthiest way to begin a relationship. Multiple factors have influenced younger generations, most notably Generation Z to have a multitude of names for what they perceive as relationships as well as the growing community of hookup culture.
Hookup culture has been very prevalent in today’s generation, as it’s convenient for people to use others as a placeholder until they no longer feel satisfied. For example, if you’re “talking” to someone right around Valentine’s Day, then you have the ample opportunity to claim them as your valentine, thus leading into a cycle of leading them on for gifts and a quick hookup without the harsh label.
Valentine’s Day has also been perceived as a way for capitalism to soar, companies twist the concepts of love and desire to make a substantial profit.
“It’s also a money grab from companies when using one day to show you care about them. It isn’t a good enough reason, you should be appreciating your partner all the time and everyday,” Oehler said.
The accessibility of both the Internet and social media have poorly shaped what our view of a healthy relationship and love is supposed to be. Using “sliding into the DM’s” and “Can I get your Snap?” instead of engaging in in-person conversation and asking for the other’s phone number lacks maturity and emotional intent to connect with a person.
“I definitely believe we are using situationship in replacement of the word dating because you are seeing people while with another person. Dating puts a time constraint on who you talk to,” Oehler said.
While some tend to view Valentine’s Day as a soul crushing day to those who can’t commit to their ideal of a “real relationship”, there is still hope out there for those in healthy, happy relationships.
The holiday has even altered the view of how some perceive their own relationship, and how it contributes to helping their love bloom.
“Acts of service and gift giving are my biggest love languages, so the holiday hits both of those really well which makes me believe that it helps my relationship in a way. It’s a fun holiday that we participate in and definitely keeps the spark alive since we both enjoy it,” junior Mya Hernandez said.
Society also tends to alter our version of love, trying to set a standard of what you should expect from your partner on the holiday. The rose colored glasses society places in front of us incites feelings of jealousy of other relationships who tend to receive lavish gifts and tarnish what we believe is love and romance in our own eyes.
“It’s the thought that counts too, so it doesn’t have to be all out and lavish, something small and meaningful can mean a lot,” Hernandez added.
While one may think it’s “just another day of the year,” a lot of relationships and even single people look forward to the holiday as it is an emphasis of how much they love the people around them.
A lot of single people feel a sense of loneliness, especially when they go on social media sites and see couples posting another and celebrating their love. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity fuel their minds as they wonder why they can’t be in a happy healthy relationship of their own.
Couples go out to dinner and buy gifts for one another. Those who are not in a relationship appreciate the value of their friendships by creating gift baskets or having “Galentine’s Day” parties where they watch movies, eat snacks and just enjoying one another’s company.
A small gesture, like buying roses, or buying your loved one their favorite food, can make their entire day. Everyone has their own love language – what they believe will make themselves happy while expecting matching energy and effort in return.
At the end of the day, what we expect out of our partner is dependent on us as individuals, not what social media, other couples or single people believe. What works best for you might not work best for everyone else, and that is okay. Valentine’s Day is a day of celebrating all love, no matter where you are.
