Alex Cwiox, Staff Writer


The year is 2020. No one has hair because it’s cooler to wear wigs. You’re pretty sure your coworker is a robot, and that’s normal. The new fad is to get buttock implants to look like Kimmy K. Hoverboards are so 2018, so you ride to work on a hover-horse. The future is awesome, right?

Wait. It gets better.

How often do Americans complain about our politicians? You’ve probably heard “thanks Obama,” at least three times today. Will the U. S. of A. citizens ever be satisfied with the bureaucrats that live to serve us?

With most politicians, probably not. But Kanye West is not a politician, and he is running for president in 2020.

West announced at MTV’s VMA’s that he wants to enter the White House in 2020 during his Video Vanguard acceptance speech.

This announcement was exciting to some, infuriating to others, but surprising to everyone.

As a long-time fan of Yeezus’s music and now a presidential-bid-supporter, here are just a few reasons why the rapper-producer-designer-filmmaker should be rapper-producer-designer-filmmaker-President-of-America.

1. He is fiscally responsible, unlike a few of our previous presidents.

“Holla we want prenup/WE WANT PRENUP!/It’s something that you need to have/’Cause when she leave yo a–, she gonna leave with half.” “Gold Digger,” Late Registration, 2005

2. First Lady Kim Kardashian would be the most iconic woman ever to be in the White House. Mainly because she’s married to Kanye West… According to Kanye West. 

“Kim doesn’t understand what a blessing I am to her,” via West’s Twitter.

3. He would be very effective at communicating and negotiating with other world leaders. 

“You can basically say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end,” via West’s Twitter.

4. And we already know she would be the best-dressed First Lady of all time.

“I have to dress Kim everyday so she doesn’t embarrass me,” via West’s Twitter

5. Finally, a president who will stop trying to get us to read so much!

“Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud nonreader of books.” West said in a 2009 edition of Reuters.

He is fluent in back-handed compliments, if he were to ever compliment someone.

“You may be talented, but you’re not Kanye West,” via West’s Twitter.

He faces every-day problems like the average American.

“I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me, like oh, great, now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle,” via West’s Twitter.

Now we can only hope that Taylor Swift will be on the bill as VP— #WestSwift2020.